


Michael’s New Babysitter

by EdelgardTheEmperor



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom
Genre: Dadboo, Fluff, Gen, Kid Fic, No beta we die like l’manburg, Piglin Technoblade, Protective Ranboo, Ranboo-centric, Snowchester, Soft Technoblade, not an rpf and if ao3 would stop categorizing it as one that’d be pogchamp, technodad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 06:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30101379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdelgardTheEmperor/pseuds/EdelgardTheEmperor
Summary: Ranboo asks Technoblade to babysit Michael.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Michael, Ranboo & Technoblade, Slight Ranboo & Tubbo, Technoblade & Michael
Comments: 13
Kudos: 698





	Michael’s New Babysitter

**Author's Note:**

> (- represents time passing or a POV change)

It’s not that he didn’t trust Techno. He did, it’s just that the piglin didn’t exactly have the best reputation with children. What was especially worrisome was the fact that Michael’s birth parents probably weren’t alive. 

So when both Tubbo and Ranboo had to go on a long mission together, he was their last option for a babysitter. Unfortunately, he was also the only one who wasn’t also busy.

Tubbo let out a deep sigh. “We’re not letting the guy who has a sword named Orphan Obliterator watch our son.” 

“I’m anxious too, but I’m gonna stay with him for a bit and make sure he’s not going to try anything. He already knows about our family and he’s fine with it. He knows that hurting Michael would ruin my relationship with him, and he has no reason to do that. I trust him.” 

Tubbo rolled his eyes. “Fine. But if anything happens I’m killing him and you.” 

Ranboo honestly couldn’t tell how much of that statement was a joke. 

-

“Michael’s room is right up this ladder. You just gotta peak in and make sure he’s not right next to the trap door before you open it all the way. He’s fallen down a few times,” Ranboo said, leading Techno to Michael’s room. He made sure to get up the ladder first, so he could get between the opening and Michael before Techno entered. 

“Dada!” Michael squealed when he saw Ranboo. He latched onto him, tugging on the fabric of his dad’s pant leg in a desperate attempt to get his attention. 

He couldn’t fight back the smile that spread across his face. He leaned down to quickly pat Michael’s head. “Hey buddy. Can you stay behind me for a bit?” 

The sound of Techno’s climbing grew louder and louder. Michael nodded and rubbed his head into Ranboo’s leg, only looking up when he heard a grunt as Techno pulled himself into the floor of Michael’s room. 

Techno winced the second his eyes met Michael’s, and Ranboo’s hand flew to the handle of his sword. Michael stumbled back, surprised at his dad’s sudden movement. “Techno-“

“No, it’s fine.” To Ranboo’s surprise, Techno didn’t sound aggressive or excited. He just sounded annoyed. He put his hands to his temples and started rubbing, closing his eyes. Ranboo relaxed just a bit. “It’s just- ugh- you know how I told you about the voices?”

“Yeah, I do.” And that was what worried him. Hearing voices on it’s own wasn’t particularly that big of an issue in terms of how trustworthy someone was, but Techno’s were extremely violent, and Techno was very, very prone to peer pressure. 

“They’ve just- wow, they haven’t been this loud in a bit.” 

Ranboo swallowed. “Techno, I think it’s best if I ask you to leave.” 

Techno opened his eyes to look at Ranboo. “Oh! You think that- oh yeah, that would make sense, wouldn’t it?” He let out a bark of laughter. “No, they’re happy. They really like this guy, actually. They’re probably more concerned about me hurting him than you are.” 

Ranboo doubted the last bit, but let his grip on his sword go slack. Michael, sensing the shift in his dad’s mood, started running towards the other piglin. 

Michael started jumping up and down in front of Techno, his arms raised over his head. He was looking at Techno intently.

-

“Look, I- I don’t know want you want me to do,” he laughed, looking down at the bouncing child.

“He wants you to pick him up,” Ranboo said, a cautious tone lingering in his voice. 

“Ah.” Techno reached down and grabbed Michael by his armpits. He lifted him, arms straight, into the air until he was at Techno’s eye level. He beamed at him in response.

Techno blinked. He’ll never admit how much that kid’s smile and shining eye warmed his heart.

“Typically people hold him a bit closer than that.” 

Techno looked over and Ranboo was smiling at them. He’d been caught. He rolled his eyes and faked indifference as he pulled Michael to his chest and wrapped one arm around his back and the other one under his backside. 

Michael shifted a bit and looked around, trying to see all of Techno with one eye. His eye caught on something, and he reached for one of Techno’s ear cuffs. 

“Oh, Michael, no-“ Ranboo stepped forward, hands raised and ready to stop his son from annoying his babysitter. 

“No, it’s alright,” Techno said, letting Michael retrieve the gold cuff from his ear, albeit very clumsily. He didn’t care all that much, though. His ears had been through far, far worse. “Piglins need their gold.” Techno smiled as Michael put the jewelry into his mouth and started teething on it. 

-

Ranboo’s heart skipped a beat. They hadn’t been giving Michael any gold other than his sword. “Do- do they actually?” 

Techno shrugged. “Eh? Not like nutritionally, but it’s typically thought to bring good health to piglins. It’s more of a cultural thing, I guess.” He turned his gaze to Michael. “Zombified piglins and, well, alive piglins have always had a bit of a cultural divide, but I know that’s it’s important to both groups.” 

Ranboo relaxed a bit at that. He really didn’t know anything about piglin behavior at all, huh?

Michael squealed at him through the gold in his mouth, bouncing himself in Techno’s arms.

“How much of a divide?” 

Techno thought for a second. “I mean the groups themselves only have a few differences, but zombie piglins were just always avoided by other piglins. They were seen as sort of strange. They weren’t bothered by the same things alive piglins were. They didn’t mind soul sand or soul lights at all, for example, but at the same time they were also a lot more sensitive to emotions. They felt their loved ones’ emotions as if they were their own. Whenever one member of the group felt something, they all did. Love, sadness, frustration, anger, all of it. It always seemed like a strange contradiction to other piglins, considering what soul sand is. I still don’t quite get it myself.” 

Ranboo gnawed on his lip. He thought about the amount of nightmares and breakdowns he’s had at Snowchester. Had Michael felt that distress as well? He shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts like an Etch A Sketch. “Do you want me to change the soul lanterns?” 

Techno shrugged. “I don’t really care. Those stopped bothering me a while ago. If you want to be extra careful for Michael’s sake then that’s up to you.” 

Ranboo nodded. This was all good information. Maybe having another piglin’s advice on raising Michael wasn’t such a bad idea. “How would you feel about coming over more often?”

**Author's Note:**

> I see you vengeful Techno, and I raise you the fact that Michael is probably the only child that chat wouldn’t want Techno to kill.


End file.
